


We Both Know How This Ends

by DealingDearie



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 22:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DealingDearie/pseuds/DealingDearie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of small vignettes involving Will, Tessa, and Jem. Based off of the cover of "Clarity" by Sam Tsui.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_"I dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life…"_

Tessa's hands, chilled by the night air sweeping past the open window, were cold, and for a moment she could imagine their warmth, in all of its simplicity. It was a refreshing thought, rushing over her with all the force of a headlong dive into icy water, and she sighed as Will's hands, so very smooth against her skin, were lain over hers with the utmost care, the familiar muscles snaking beneath his skin like a careful latticework of everything and all things utterly _Will._

Her eyes flickered to where his face would be, his gentle eyes shining with a sharp smile as he quoted Sydney Carton, and she smiled.

His face would be there, if it were one hundred years ago, and the comforting touch of his skin dissipated into the ghost of hands pressed to hers, the sensation lost as the wind blew past her hair, the tears in her eyes already drying.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time..."_

She could hold on, clutching his arm to her like a lifeline, for just a little longer, forcing back her tears so that he would not see them, his blue eyes as vibrant as always. His hair was faded, his face wrinkled by years of the life no one ever expected him to have, and Will smiled up at her with a fresh joy written across his fading gaze.

She could, for his sake, push back the sorrow, the fear, and live his last moments with him like they were his first, like they had just met in that mansion as she hit him atop the head with a vase.

She could act as if they were both young and alive and passionate, unaltered by time and unspoken truths, and for a while it would work, it would ease the grief in her heart, but the dream, the dream that always invaded her nights, would forever end the exact same way.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hold still right before we crash because we both know how this ends…"_

Her bracelet rests against her wrist as she waits on Blackfriar's Bridge and Tessa smoothes a finger over one of the pearls along its design. The memories it brings are unbidden, entirely unwelcome for the day, and she frowns as they come to her, slipping through her restraints just as easily as Brother Zachariah sneaks up behind her.

He doesn't make a sound, doesn't even make himself known, and watches as Tessa fights with her mind, trying to push away the flashes of smiles and runes and silver hair. He can't _truly_ watch, of course, but he likes to think that he can, likes to keep that single shred of humanity he has left with him at all times, and Tessa is the only one who can bring it out when it gets smothered amidst his pale runes and silent mind.

A small sensation, a feeling completely Jem-like, rises up in him, an urge to wrap his arms around her, and the Silent Brother takes a step back to rid himself of such forbidden thoughts, gazing at her helplessly as she swallows down tears, her throat tightening with sorrow.

For a moment, Zachariah can imagine sitting next to her, taking her hand and pulling her into his embrace, but the ghost of hesitance-or is he still the Jem she once knew?-slips into his mind and he takes his seat beside her, appearing before Tessa like some memory come to life, and does his best to convince himself that he doesn't see the loving look crossing her teary gaze.

There is no life, he thinks, for a Silent Brother, and Tessa will have to realize, eventually, that she will never see her Jem again.


	4. Chapter 4

_"A clock ticks 'till it breaks your glass and I drown in you again…"_

Time, frozen for Tessa for so very long, seems to kick start into rushes of tightly held hands and laughter, smiles and new steps with unfamiliar strength hidden within them. It's happy, after so much sorrow and agony, after all of the tears and memories that would be nothing more.

After all of the graves she walked past, her eyes caught straight ahead until she collapsed at the one that mattered the most, too weak to resist the call of the long dead. After nights spent alone and wishing she wasn't, longing for the forgotten feel of a quickly pounding heart fluttering at her back, like the erratic beat of a bird's wing. After everything she can remember, the leaves in the fall meaning nothing more than another year already fading from her memory.

Jem, the scars across his cheekbones wrinkling when he smiles at her, is new, a different boy than the one she saw so long ago, swathed in tender moonlight as he played the story of his soul with careful fingers, and Tessa is perfectly fine to rediscover all of the ways her heart can pick up speed, or all of the ways her soul can open up to the love she hadn't known in so many years, or even all of the ways that Jem, in all of his miraculous goodness and stark differences, is utterly and completely the same.


	5. Chapter 5

_"You are the piece of me I wish I didn't need…"_

Will still turns, all too prepared to see a battle ready Jem just behind him, beaming from ear to ear with a joy only found in hunting down demons, only to find Gideon, or Gabriel, or even Cecily, looking at him like he's completely lost his wits and all other sorts of things he should have while risking his life.

Will can hardly care, though, because the surprise, the pure, unadulterated _shock_ of not seeing his parabatai hits him like a tidal wave, taking away his senses as he frantically searches for his brother, but to no avail. It takes a pregnant pause for him to realize that Jem is no longer Jem, that he's a Silent Brother floating down the halls of the silent City, lost forever to his mind. Will can feel the echo of a buried memory as he blinks.

_"James Carstairs! Jem! Where are you, you disloyal bastard?"_

_"Over here. Follow the witchlight."_

But he's not there, Will thinks, as he turns to drive his seraph blade into the chest of a Shax demon, and he realizes with a bittersweet clarity that Jem, good, wonderful, selfless Jem, will never be there again.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Chasing relentlessly, I still fight and I don't know why…"_

You could say many things about James Carstairs. You could murmur about his shortcomings as a shadowhunter, about the way his shoulders shook when he walked, or even the way the blood he coughed up spotted his hands with a crimson shine, but you could never so much as think about voicing how unkind he was.

It would, in every sense of the word, be a complete lie.

He was relentlessly devoted, if not inevitably sacrificing of everything he ever could have been, if only to save those who held his heart in such a careful grasp. Their salvation, though, had come with a terrible price.

Or maybe it was a burden.

A burden to be paid in full with cries of agony as runes sliced through him like a knife, their burn and power crawling through him like a creeping sickness, and the feeling never truly went away. He would shiver in the middle of the night, from the cold of the stone walls or the absence of another's warmth, he never knew, and Jem would resist the sensation just as fiercely as he had resisted it a century ago.

He would resist, his thoughts circling back to blue eyes and clockwork angels, and the fight would nearly kill everything he'd worked so hard to salvage; that tiny sliver of a silver haired boy living within his cold, steadily beating heart.


	7. Chapter 7

_"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?"_

He was there and then he wasn't, gone from her like a dream just beyond remembering. Her heart felt all the more empty for it, to be honest, and the lack of Jem pulled at her happiness until it was just shy of being stolen away completely.

Their love, though so very trusting and compassionate and caring, had destroyed itself, not able to withstand its own weight, and the echo of it tore through Tessa like a fatal wound that could bleed her dry. Her tears were so potent that they overtook her entire body, curling in on herself like a fragile doll, and Will's arms were a steady reminder of all that she'd been able to hold onto, as well as a jarring revelation of all that she'd let slip away.

In the darkness of her dreams, in the push and pull of drifting slumber, and then and only then, could she find the boy with the violin, gently running the bow over its delicate strings with skilled fingers as he looked to her, his eyes reflecting all of the ways he had loved and would love her, always, until the very end of his days.


	8. Chapter 8

_"If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"_

A flurry of snowy kisses and aging laughter, of crying babies and understanding smiles, was Tessa's only lullaby, and she fell into his arms just as easily as she breathed, just as easily as she blinked, and just as easily as she Changed.

Will was a shot in the dark, a random shout in the middle of a Clave meeting just because he could, and a kiss stolen in the hall when no one was around. He was unexpected gifts and quotes from her favorite novels, ill-timed jokes and invented songs. He was unexpected and predictable, all the same, and Tessa loved him with everything she had.

Perhaps, in his days of dying and coughing and smiling for her sake, she could hear the echo of laughter as he sang of demon pox, dancing around the foyer as Gabriel gave him a withering look, Jem stifling a smile at his side.

And maybe, just maybe, she sang along with him.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends…"_

Will's nightmares were contagious, it seemed. Tessa would shiver with the memories that quickly morphed into stitched mouths and cold hands around her, stealing the very last breath she had treasured so very much. Will would wake with a start, then, and nearly cry out in pain as the parabatai rune burned his skin, crimson blood dripping around the edges like a fresh wound.

He'd look over to his wife and quickly shake her, roughly pulling her back to blessed reality, and the tears upon her cheeks did not go unnoticed, for the glistening drops on his own face told Tessa all she needed to know. He would wrap her in his arms, just like he could protect her from the memories that haunted them both, and rock her back and forth like a child, murmuring reassurances in her ear.

James would cry, then, an unexpected sound in the silence, and they'd rush to him, all too eager to find a distraction. Her son was the complete opposite of his namesake and Tessa wasn't entirely sure what she had expected of their child. His hair was a dark ebony, like his father's, and his small eyes glowed golden, as if the magic within her blood had seeped into his irises, and the sight would always take her by surprise.

She would forever hear his name and think of the fragile smile of the ghost from her past, eyes shining silver in the darkness as he told her all of the things she needed to hear, as he shared his rare wisdom with her, if only to tell her that she was human in all of the ways that mattered. _J_

_ames. Jem. Her lovely James. Will's James. Selfless, good, delicate Jem._

Tessa would be pulled out of her reverie soon after, blinking as Will picked up their baby with careful arms, hugging the boy to his chest with a loving smile as he glanced over to her, understanding dawning on his face as the memory-

_Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried_

-flashed across his pained stare.


	10. Chapter 10

_"It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense…"_

"Jem? Jem, is that you?" Will asks, gazing into a shadowed corridor as a Silent Brother strolls past, and the voice within his head is anything but understanding.

_We have told you, shadowhunter, that his name is Brother Zachariah now._

Brother Enoch walks on, the slide of his robes against the smooth floor echoing in his wake, and Will leans against a nearby doorframe to compose himself.

How many times has he done that now? At least five. He's always hoping to catch that friendly smile, the helping hand that pulled him through hell and back, his savior.

Will wipes the tears pouring from his eyes as he slinks down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees and pulling them to his chest, burying his face there, his dark hair falling forward to kiss the tops of his knees as his shoulders shake with sobs.

Tessa should be walking around the corner about now, stopping at Will's curled up form to gently rap on Jem's door, the vibrations snaking through the very doorframe Will is leaning against. Jem would open it with a bright smile, his eyes flickering past her to search for his friend, and he would hesitantly welcome her in, murmurs of propriety and engagements floating down the hall as the click of the shutting door resounded through the institute. Will might even barge in a bit later, outbursts of chivalry and virtue pouring from his joking mouth, a mocking smile as he gazed down at a blushing Jem, dots of red on his pale cheeks as he quickly looked down, a shy smile on his face as he shrugged off Will's attempts at embarrassment.

This _should_ be happening, Will realizes, and the thought pulls him far from his sanity, all too eager to give it up for even a moment with the already fading memory of his better half.


	11. Chapter 11

_"Don't speak as I try to leave, because we both know what we'll choose…"_

Will could stop him, could reach out and grab his arm before either boy could blink, but it wouldn't change a thing. Will could call out to the retreating form in front of him, could cry out with sorrow as his life walked out the door, but Jem would still leave.

Will could throw things out the window and scream into the heavens, breaking anything he could get his hands on. He could cradle Jem's violin with all of the care Jem had ever shown it, or he could smash it to pieces with his bare fists. He could wrap Tessa in his arms as he cried into her shoulder, or he could let his heart grow cold from the severed chords within him.

And if Will could see the future-

if he could witness the birth of his children and how brightly they would shine, or how Tessa would cling to his arm as they walked through Hyde Park, laughing as he shied away from the ducks with a deep set frown, or even how he would watch, captivated, as Brother Zachariah played his violin for the first time in some eight decades, laying out all of his loss and love for the both of them as Will took his last breath, Tessa shaking with unshed tears as Jem took a seat beside him, grabbing his hand with a strength he had never possessed before, his dark eyes shining with the ghost of silver-

then maybe, just maybe, losing Jem would be that much easier.


	12. Chapter 12

_"If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you…"_

Tessa possessed an innate curiosity that got her into trouble more often than she'd like to admit. A discreet turn of the head to listen in on someone's gossip, or even a quick peek into one of the Clave meetings she was never allowed to attend. It was all harmless enough, of course, until she was alone, until all of the people she had loved so fiercely were but ashes and dust.

Magnus would pat down her hair and kiss her cheek as she cried into his reassuring embrace, trembling with the burdens of her long life. He was the only one left, it seemed, until she would happen upon a few wayward shadowhunters. They seemed to carry trouble with them, naturally, and where there was trouble there was the Law, hot on their tails. And what was the Law without quarrels- fights that resulted in concerning, sometimes gruesome injuries? And what were injuries without Silent Brothers to heal them?

Silent Brothers.

Just like the one standing before her now, hands knotted together with anticipation as Magnus chants over a red headed child, her small face wrinkled up in concentration, her freckles bright across her pale skin. Her mother, Jocelyn, hovers just behind her, sending worried glances to Brother Zachariah and the female warlock. Jocelyn pretends not to notice the way Zachariah seems to absentmindedly lean over near the warlock, as if he's pulled to her by some odd kind of gravity, and she blinks away the image as she looks to Magnus, frowning as her daughter's memories are shut away.

Tessa doesn't have the mind to think about the unlucky fortune of the child, of how her memories, her life, will be closed from her forever, because she's too busy sending sideways glances at the Silent Brother beside her, who surely notices, for he has always noticed everything. Tessa feels the sleeve of her shirt brush against his robes and she closes her eyes quickly, if only to smother the flash of long buried intensity that flares within them at the thought of wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

She smiles, hope swelling in her chest, at the thought of a cure, of Jem as he was so long ago, and she opens her eyes just in time to catch him, his head tilted in her direction as if staring, his eyes closed and his face expressionless, as always, before his head snaps back to where it was before, gazing straight ahead into dark nothingness. Tessa's curiosity gets the better of her, though, and she scoots closer just to feel the skin of his hand pressed against hers, her grey eyes widening as he doesn't pull away, and a voice foreign yet familiar invades her mind.

_Ni hen piao liang._

Immediately, Tessa blushes and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, the echo of a tenderly murmured translation running through her mind.

_Your hair is coming undone._

The meaning brings her back to that carriage ride from so many years past, reminding her of the long held suspicion that it may mean something entirely different, and her smile, so wide and bright and curiously shining with utter love, makes the heart lying near dormant within Zachariah's chest pound with a rhythm all its own.


	13. Chapter 13

_"Because you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need…"_

Life for an immortal was costly, requiring a sacrifice greater than Tessa thought she could make, and the toll it took on her one hundred and thirty years showed itself in the most unexpected ways.

Her grey eyes, usually as sharp as a knife and brighter than the shine of Jem's silvery hair when the sunshine rested on it just right, had dimmed to the color of clouds before a storm, drifting loneliness reflecting in her stare. Her nails had a long earned point to them from years of biting at the tips with anxiety, and her face was perhaps more melancholy than the most sorrowful shadowhunter around.

Magnus noticed these things with a reluctant awareness, trying as hard as he could to ignore it for Tessa's sake, and each passing year led her deeper into a void he couldn't fill with any of his reassuring words and friendly banter. Sometimes, throughout Magnus' long life, the immortals couldn't bear it any longer, and Tessa had been ready to give up for years.

The only thing tethering her to the world of mortals was a single thought, a scarred face in a mass of oblivious people as they all walked across a bridge. He was the last of her heart, the missing piece to the puzzle that had lain dormant and broken within her for so long, and each year brought with it not only a fresh grief, but a fresh sense of hope as well, and that was what kept Tessa alive. The hope kept her afloat, reviving her broken heart when it gave up, but the grief pulled her beneath the water, the memories of all that she'd lost following just at her back.

On most days, she could barely stand it, opting for a soft pillow and warm bed to sleep away the memories, or even a bottle of some foul tasting drink Magnus had accidentally left out from the night before.

But on days like these, when she sat on a bench, staring out into a winding river as the wind blew her chocolate curls about her face, she somehow found the will to manage a smile, her heart picking up speed as a lone figure sat next to her, draped in blinding white robes, his eyes forever closed.

On days like these, Tessa could find that small piece of her that was all too prepared to make that sacrifice.


	14. Chapter 14

_"Chasing relentlessly, I still fight and I don't know why…"_

Jem can't remember the last time he's been able to frown, and the action takes him by surprise as he turns to see Magnus beside him, the brief glimpse of dark hair tricking his mind into imagining Will in the warlock's place.

Jem tries his best to smile at his old friend, but the disappointment still shines in his eyes and Magnus murmurs a few words about immortality, words that Jem stubbornly ignores to his best ability. Tessa is just in front of them, running among the flock of ducks that peck at the french fries in her hands, and her laughter makes Jem's heart swell with pain.

Someday, he won't be able to hear that melodious sound.

Someday, he'll be frail and weak, just like he was as a teenager, and his old bones will creak with the weight of his body, a weight Tessa will be burdened with.

Someday, should they have children of their own, he will watch as they cry over his deathbed, telling stories about him with a barely there smile, just like when Will was dying.

And someday, Jem will be long faded into ashes, and just as Tessa roams the world of mortals now, she will do so again, alone until the ends of her days, because Will is the half of her heart that she tries to keep alive, while Jem is the other.

Jem thinks he sees Will again, turning from Tessa, and no, it's only Magnus.

The ache in his heart weighs his shoulders down until he can't even manage a smile, shuffling his feet as they try to catch up with Tessa's fast paced walking, and he wants to grab Magnus by the shoulders and chastise him for lecturing about immortality.

Jem wants to scream at the top of his lungs from the tallest building in the world that Magnus should stop trying to console him with his reassuring words that aren't at all reassuring because, Jem wants to shout, _he is not immortal._


	15. Chapter 15

_"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?"_

Will's hold is a unique thing, a small piece of heaven that Tessa selfishly keeps to herself, because no other person in the whole world knows but her. His arms, warm around her as she cries into his shirt sleeve, are made for killing, and yet they soothe her when she falls asleep. His breathing, such a miraculous thing, is measured and steady as she rests her head on his chest, closing her eyes against the pain of the outside world.

Will is her haven, her safe place in a realm of danger and death, until he is gone, until he is quickly fading into a black and white photo, until he is nothing more than the flash of light behind her eyelids, or the trickle of rain as it falls down her cheek, or even the feather light kiss of a summer breeze.

Will is the melting touch of snowflakes as they cascade upon her, the inky pages of a good book.

He is the lullaby that puts her to sleep and the sunshine that warms her skin, golden light brushing against her as she wakes.

He is the footsteps she leaves in the mud, following her when she turns around, and the shadow at her back.

He is the soft moonlight that washes over her when she walks at night, the bright stars that twinkle down at her from so very far away.

Will is the world, and always has been, and so forever will he be the life that surrounds her.


	16. Chapter 16

_"If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"_

Perhaps it was illogical, or an extreme lack of any sense of self preservation, to run into that crowd of demons, but the sight of Jem- _Brother Zachariah_ -standing among them, his staff held out as if to ward them off, sent Tessa far from the edge of sanity.

Her legs burned from the exertion, but standing next to him, feeling the brush of his robes against her arm, made her shiver, and she strained to see into the dark shadows beneath his hood, forever cloaking his face in a world of mystery. She hadn't seen him since Blackfriar's Bridge, nearly a year at the time, and her heart pounded from his proximity rather than the fear for her life.

The other Silent Brothers acted like she wasn't there, and she could nearly feel Jem's panic as she surged into the middle of the fight. He'd swept her up without a second thought, kicking at a demon's face to remove it from their path, and Tessa had felt as if the world was moving in a sort of slow motion, the fabric of Jem's cloak brushing against her face as she was finally allowed a glimpse of his eyes, his pale eyelids closed, dark lashes kissing the tops of his cheeks, brushing against the black runes on the sides of his face.

Demons swirled around them, his staff lashing out at each one, and at the realization that he was carrying her entire body with one arm, Tessa realized how different Jem had truly become.

He was strong, the muscles beneath his robes contracting against her, and Tessa marveled at the feel of them, the intensely _new_ and utterly _strange_ sensation. He had been so fragile, in their youth, and for him to be so powerful now took Tessa's breath away.

A bit of ichor had found a way to her skin and it burned her there as she hissed in pain. Jem's head tilted downward, as if he could truly see her with his completely unseeing eyes, and in an instant, Tessa was far from the group of battling shadowhunters and Silent Brothers and demons, safe in the cold arms of the one person she would never tire of, and his arms were gentle around her as they guided her down.

He quickly wiped the demon blood from her face and rubbed a slender thumb over the angry mark there, soothing the pain on her cheek, and Tessa sighed, his touch just as easily given as if it was 1878 again. Jem turned as another demon came their way, claws outstretched, and he pulled a dagger from the recesses of his robes, throwing it between the creature's eyes, and it sunk hilt-deep into its skull.

Tessa shivered against him as he turned back to her, his thoughts of getting back to the battle invading her mind, and she quickly grabbed his sleeve to stop him from leaving.

"No…I'm-I'm injured," she murmured shakily, and Jem knew without having to look her over that she was lying, but the mere statement allowed him an excuse, and, against the protests in his mind forged from a century of training, he wrapped her up within his embrace, cradling her to his chest as they battle waged on.

No one noticed them for a long while, two people suspended within the curse of time, curled up with one another in the most bittersweet love Tessa had ever felt.


	17. Chapter 17

_"Why are you my clarity?"_

Will's smile was the brightest when he was with Jem.

His laugh was the loudest and his jokes were the funniest.

His songs were the most awful, his teasing the most good-willed.

Jem was the anchor holding him in place, the raft that saved his life time and time again. Jem was the good side of all bad situations, the light in the darkest of places, and Will was at his best when he was near his parabatai. He would be furious, ready to drive his fist into a nearby wall, and all it took to calm him were a few softly spoken words from his friend, the other half of his conflicted soul.

Where Jem went, Will went.

Where Jem fought, Will fought.

Where Jem walked, Will walked, all for the sake of trying to protect the fragile boy with the silver hair.

And where Jem died, would Will die, also, forever and ever upon the wheel of life, forever and ever until they met again, somewhere along the river overlooking the gates of Heaven.


	18. Chapter 18

_"Why are you my remedy?"_

And so it goes, in the way of things, for Tessa to be left alone.

Magnus is gone, fallen in a battle from years ago, and the wind on her face dries the tears in her eyes. Tessa doesn't feel like finding new friends, or searching for new love, or doing anything at all.

She stands at the edge of Blackfriar's Bridge, the railing sharp against her back, and glances down at the rushing waves beneath her, her jade pendant heavy against her chest as it hangs from her neck, the ghost of a clockwork angel ticking at her throat. She tries to imagine how she'll go about this, how the water will feel against her skin, and she tells herself not to panic too much. If she panics, if she reacts at all, then this will be for nothing.

Tessa looks up to the horizon, watching as the sun, shining brightly in all of its red and orange and yellow tinted glory, falls, the lasting light making the faint outline of the moon above look like a mere shadow. The moon and the sun. Jem and Will. Will and Jem. How appropriate, she thinks, for the last image in her mind to be of the two men she loved with everything she had, the two boys that felt a love for each other stronger than anything the world's ever known, and Tessa takes in the smell, the sounds, the sight.

She takes it all in, closing her eyes, breathing in as much as she can, before she lets herself fall off the edge, plummeting into the raging water below as shouts sound from above, concerned passerby yelling for help.

But Tessa sinks, opens her eyes and sinks, and lets her limbs relax, telling herself not to struggle, not to swim to the surface, not to give in. She ignores the swelling pressure in her ears, or the creeping choking sensation, and closes her eyes to the pain as she takes another breath, letting the water fill her lungs, crawling down her throat with the blessed intimacy of things long lost, and everything around her swims into darkness as it all stops.

She finds herself walking, her bare feet leaving imprints in the soft sand, and her dress billows around her legs.

Her corset, a nearly forgotten thing, is tight around her as she moves along the beach, looking out into a river filled with golden light, illuminated from the inside. Fish of all colors swim beneath the water's surface, bright scales reflecting glorious light, and she can't find a single shadow anywhere. The white silk of her sleeves ripples in the breeze and she smiles, recalling the golden lace at her middle with a fond kind of remembrance.

Her wedding dress had been golden, golden and brilliantly bright on that dreadful day, and the tattered ends of it had looked void of life, smothered with demon blood.

Now, she feels a freedom in her heart as she glances up, catching sight of two silhouettes in the distance, and the swell of love within her nearly brings her to her knees, for how else could she recognize those forms, standing away from the light, their feet dipped in the river as if waiting to swim across it?

She picks up her snowy skirts and breaks out into a run, her legs oddly free of the burn she's so used to, and she laughs with the most exquisite joy her heart has ever known. She runs until her arms are firmly wrapped around each of their necks, hugging them to her with all of her strength, and Will makes a choking sound.

"When did you get so strong, Tess?" Will asks, his smile brighter than the light behind him, and she laughs as she pulls away from them.

His eyes are bluer than the ocean, deeper than the darkest corners of the world, and brimming with affection. His hair is black, completely different from how it was when he died, and his youthful face beams with happiness, as if this is all he's ever waited for.

Beside him, Jem stands strong, his broad shoulders held high, not weighted with weakness. His eyes, as pale as the moon, shine as he smiles at her, and Tessa realizes that the drug is gone, though he looks just as he did when they first met, hands behind his back, posed like a proper gentleman with a crooked smile. The light reflects against his silver hair and casts a halo about him, making Jem look like some angel come to life.

"We were waiting for you, Tessa," he murmurs lovingly, his smile widening as Will laughs beside him, nodding in agreement.

Tessa beams at them both and takes their hands, tears in her eyes. "And I have been waiting for so very long," she whispers, turning to dip her feet into the water.

Jem squeezes her hand just as Will smiles down at her, and they walk into the glowing river hand in hand, Tessa surrounded by them and their love, and the river and all of its colors rises up to encompass them in its radiant light, embracing them with the feather light touch of an angel's wings as the heavenly water surrounds them.

**Author's Note:**

> Please R&R! Feedback of any kind is always appreciated! ;)
> 
> All rights go to their respective owners.


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